There’s a phrase I’ve been using a lot lately: don’t be the soggy lettuce.
Too many women—especially those of us in the sandwich generation—lose our crispness under the weight of caregiving, expectation, and cultural obligation. We become wilted, invisible, overextended. We forget what it feels like to taste our own joy, to hold our shape. We become the soggy lettuce in someone else’s sandwich. (to the women, men & non-binary individuals that lean into this space – I see you and hear you. It is an acknowledged disconnect that the emotional labour of this kind of care is skewed by stereotype and bias- both gender and cultural).
I’ve been there. As a parent, a caregiver to aging parents and in-laws, and a professional in the people and culture space, I’ve spent years juggling roles. I’ve held hands in hospital beds, navigated neurodiverse school systems, wiped tears (mine and others), advocated for access, and tried to keep the fridge stocked and my sense of self intact.
But I’ve also leaned in. Into joy. Into faith. Into connection. Into legacy.
This isn’t just a personal story—it’s part of the Stories for Caregivers: Recipes for Connection Canada-wide series supported by the TELUSFund, a project designed to amplify the voices of real caregivers and honour the complexity of caregiving today. And part of Canada’s largest caregiving community
The project includes two companion videos:
- The first, a full-length feature, (5+ minutes) explores how food, tradition, and culture connect us—how we pass on legacy through the simple act of sharing a meal. It also weaves together themes of intergenerational connection, resilience, and identity. And you’ll learn how to make Akni, something really easy and delicious – in one pot.
- The second, a shorter reflection, (<1 minute) is about self-forgiveness—how caregivers show up for themselves, even when they feel depleted. It’s a moment of grace and truth.
In the first video, I speak about caregiving not just as a responsibility, but as a calling. And I do it with reverence for the people who taught me how to show up: my parents, my community, and most recently, my child.
You know the quote: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” It’s this
I always said my HR career was about more than compliance and consistency. Now I see it as restoration. As weaving. As Zari—the golden thread that connects people across stories, experiences, and time. My leadership lens is no longer just strategic—it’s spiritual. Why? You might think this sounds unusual. Paired with my experiences as a disability and end-of-life doula, I’ve confirmed that holding space for others is sacred work. It’s not just about presence—it’s about witnessing, anchoring, and translating grief, love, and legacy into something that can be carried. Whether in offices, conferences, hospitals, living rooms, or family kitchens, I’ve learned that the act of caregiving is often invisible—but never insignificant. This has shaped how I lead, how I advocate, and how I live. It’s what makes me attuned not just to policy, but to pain. Not just to structure, but to story.
So here’s to the caregivers, the culture keepers, and the crunchy lettuce types who won’t wilt. You deserve to stay whole. You deserve to be seen.
✨ Need a moment of grace? Watch LA Media’s take on Self-Forgiveness – a 60 second reflection of my thoughts, also part of the TELUS project. https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1AnQZZ7ap1/
May this sharing help you hear your joyful crunch.
Thank you, TELUS Fund, for supporting the Stories for Caregivers: Recipes for Connection project and inviting me to share my story. This is a powerful community and I am just honoured to share the legacy of my mom, Hamida and my dad, Shiraz. As I was privileged to care for both of them, their teachings carry on with my uncle Nizar and my mother-in-law Shirley. LA Media – I was privileged to work with your fantastic team and came out of it with a few amazing soul connections. Grateful for your continued connections Leanne, Darcy, Garth.